THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
