I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Randomize
