Soap is not a condiment
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
