to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
