belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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