do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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