Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
