You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
