girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
