its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
