You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
it was like having sex with a tree stump
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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