my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
