..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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