just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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