Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
