it wasn't lemon gatorade
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
