I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
