he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
