I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm just crazy horny about you
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
