So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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