Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
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