he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
