Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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