I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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