His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
