The maid of honor just puked.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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