I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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