i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Randomize
