No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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