there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
