Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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