So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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