I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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