they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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