Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Randomize
