so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
