I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Dicks are not precious.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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