she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
My friends, they love my intelligence
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
