hell yes lets make some ravioli
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
