Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
