please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
