how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
