My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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