I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
