This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
