i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
