best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
