well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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