He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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