I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
