I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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